Married Monday: Communication

 
   Communication is probably the most important thing in a marriage, without it there really is no marriage.

   Why is communication so important? Without it there is no true understanding and an ability to provide for each other’s needs, and when that happens the relationship begins to crumble. Silence in my opinion is worse than bad communication, now I’m not saying yelling and screaming at each other is great but at least at that point you both care about the fight and each other enough to yell, but when your silent you’ve given up and that’s deadly to a marriage.

   Communication makes things clear to both parties, enhances satisfaction, assures that the marriage is important, and brings you closer together.  When you are talking openly together about your opinions or even expectations of how any situation will go, then there is no confusion for either party. When the communication lines are open then the overall satisfaction in the relationship is enhanced. Kind words show a partner that the other is still romantically interested in them, it reassures them that they are important in the marriage. The process of learning the communication that works best for your marriage will bring you both closer together, as well as developing a communication that is unique to your relationship.

Some basic tips for communication

Improving listening;

• Smile and look the other person in the eye naturally
• Ask questions to show you are interested and to clarify things you aren't sure of.
• Look for common ground.
• Try to block out distractions.
• Don't focus on rehearsing what you will say next.*** Biggy if you do this you’re not listening at all.
• If the person expresses strong feelings, try to acknowledge them without becoming offended or angry yourself.

Improving talking;

• Speak clearly, avoiding jargon and confusing ramblings.
• Be respectful.
• Use "I" statements ("I feel uncomfortable when...") instead of accusing.
• Apologize when needed.
• Be forgiving.
• Don't rush or cut the other person off.
• Don't talk just to fill the silence.
• Express appreciation and encouragement.

5 Tips for Communication in Marriage.

1. Care- you need to care for your spouse to have effective communication. You need to show this in your speech and body language. Your spouse needs to know they are important.
2. Praise and Encouragement- Words have the ability to truly hurt someone or they can help and make a difference in some ones life. Encouraging words can nourish a marriage and keep it healthy. If your praising and encouraging your spouse a great intimacy and closeness will occur. What are you giving your spouse through words? Could they be starving from not hearing the words they need.
3. Truth- Marriage needs honesty to succeed. There’s no need for the hurtful truth where you can say whatever you want because its true, you need to remember the tips above for talking. Share what’s on your heart, and no silent treatment. Silence speaks volumes.
4. Faith- Speak and share with your spouse but have faith that God will take care of it. No need to repeat mean words or nagging to get the point across have faith that God will work in your spouse and you.
5. Surrender-Surrender it all to GOD,  your mouth, words conversation and thoughts let him have the control.

These are great reminders from Jenilee over at Our Goodwin Journey.

   I am not the best communicator and I will never claim to be, but I try my best every day to be better at it. If you needed to hear something to kick you into gear with your communication, I hope this helps. Researching for this post has helped me a lot there really is quite a bit of info out there on communication in marriage. I wish you the best in your marriage and would love any feedback, tips or stories that you may have on the topic.