Married Monday: Being Friends With Your Spouse

   It’s more like Married Tuesday this week but that doesn’t sound as good. We went home for the weekend, it was relatively last minute and I did not have a chance to get this post wrote in time, but it was worth it we had a great time being home with our parents.

   You love your spouse, we all do, but do you like them?, the majority of the time? Well I sure hope you like them, being in like is quite important I believe, because that means you want to spend time with them and be friends. Yup that’s right you should be friends with your husband or wife, shocker right. I think though people forget this and go on letting day to day life get in the way and soon they are just roommates that do love each other but don’t really connect on a friendship level.  Being in that place is not somewhere I want to be, why? Because I want to be connected to my husband always and make an effort to quickly fix it if I feel that friendship slipping away.

   Now I don’t just want to be his friend no I want to be his best friend, the one he comes to before others to tell good news, to share disappointments, to share something he found that interested him. I want him to think of sharing it with me before one of his buddies even crosses his mind. Now this may sound selfish but think back when you were young and had that one best friend that you told everything to, you told them things that other people wouldn't

understand or would find stupid but you knew they would get it perfectly. Who is that person in your life now? Some may still have that best friend that has been with them for years and years, I don’t have any super close friends like that. I have some friends that I like to talk to but there is no one other than my husband that I would tell everything to even the tiny things in the day, and I want him to feel that same way about me. This isn’t because I need it but because that is the way God intended it, we are meant to leave our parents and cleave to one another (Gen 2:24). I interpret this as being more than just together but truly depending on one another for that friendship. 

From my actions I want him to feel that I want to be his best friend and then ensure that I stay his best friend.  Here are some ideas on how to become and remain best friends in your marriage.

• Find and develop mutual interest. If you are newly married and now living together and find that you really don’t have that many interest in common, find one that you both want to try and give it a shot together.
• Put them first
• Listen without judging. Like I said above you would tell your best friend anything and you’re not afraid of them judging you for it. That is something you want so it is something you should be doing for your spouse.
• Communicate clearly. If you need help on some effective communicating you can click here, or for communicating respect, forgiveness or disagreements click the words and they will take you to my posts from last month.
• Be reliable. Nothing worse then someone not doing what they say they will.
• Have their back. They need to know you will stand up for them and that you are a team.
• Share the happy. When he’s happy about something be happy with him.
• Share the sad. On the flip side if he’s upset or worried be supportive and empathetic.
• Spend time together. This is important; to be friends of any kind you hang out together often. Set time each day or week to spend quality time together and connecting.
• Treat them like you want to be treated. You know what you want in a friend so be that for your spouse, and even add some more to it.